Statutory warning: BPL mobile is bad for your health.

These days theres a lot written about customer service and how the customer is the king. Unfortunately I have not had the pleasure of interacting with such companies. To my bad luck I have interacted with companies who don’t know the spelling of “customer” and neither the meaning. Case in point being the following.
I have been using BPL MOTS for the past 6yrs (at the very least… probably more). Recently I have been getting calls from their call center telling me the pros of going in for billing or rather post paid instead of the pre paid that I was using. They would be falling all over themselves trying to sell it to me (possibly for the commission). Finally I decided to try it. Guess it wasn’t my lucky day when I took this decision.
Right away they sent a man to my house to get me to fill the form and I paid the required Rs.599/- (actually 600 cos these people always forget to return the Re 1 change). I gave him the photo copies of all the necessary documents that they had asked for. He said it would be activated the next day and assured me that the balance that was on my MOTS card will be carried forward.
They activated the billing procedure after 2 days. After which I got umpteen sms’s about welcoming me to the world of billing. This evening I get an sms from BPL mobile …which I quote verbatim “dear sub, pls provide additional details within 24hrs to dealer/bpl gallery to activate ur out going calls post verification and to avoid suspension.” Sender bpl mobile sent 18:17:33 hrs on 21-12-2006. to say I was taken aback is an understatement. I was shocked by the language. They did not even ask me for any more docs and just send me a threatening message. I called their mobile assist (don’t ask me why they call it assist… I guess they have a “hatke” sense of humour). Spoke to one Rakesh. Told him I was most upset and unhappy about being treated in this manner. I told him why cant you have a checklist where by your visiting personnel can tick off if he has got all the copies of necessary docs from me. I told him I work in shifts and it is not possible for me to visit a bpl gallery at the drop of a hat. What does he mean by 24hrs? I told him that if I could give a couple of photocopies I could give of 10 docs. All they need to do was ask. He told me that they were not aware of this happening and would have to check with their other dept. I told him I thought they were a computerized company at the very least. Why is it such a trouble for them to feed details about a customer in their computer so that whoever answers the call doesn’t give the impression of being dumb? I told him that I wanted them to call me back so that I could have a “meaningful conversation” with them about their absolutely shoddy service. Also since I had a roaming service on my MOTS and the charges of 49rs were already taken from it for the month of dec. I did not want them to recharge me that once they started the roaming service again. I ended the call.
A couple of minutes after this call I had to call a colleague of mine. Imagine my disbelief …when I tried to call his number I was told that the outgoing calls were barred. I called 800 again (the toll free number)….. this time it was some Prakash who wanted to help me. That’s what they say… haven’t had much help. So I told him to put me on to Rakesh. He told me that Rakesh was busy with another call and he would help me. So I said to him that I got the sms exactly an hour back and it gave me a notice of 24hrs and you have cut my outgoing calls in an hour? I mean I cannot understand their sense of time. I told him I don’t know how you do it buddy…but I want my outgoing calls started NOW otherwise I want my money back the 599rs and my MOTS balance which was about Rs875. I don’t want to subscribe to such a company. He told me he would put in a request and it would take them 24hrs. I told him but according to your sms 24hrs means 1hr. since they cut my outgoing calls. So by that formula I should get my money back in 1hr. So he tells me there was a problem with my verification. The guy who was sent to give a surprise visit to check my house address for verification couldn’t find it. I told him buddy try another one. I asked him whether he was aware I had a phone from which I was speaking. If the dumbo couldn’t locate my house all he had to do was call. He tells me it was a “surprise” visit. I told him even if it was “surprise” he could have asked me the location and dropped whenever he wanted to “surprise”me. I have lived in the same place for 33yrs. The peon they sent to fill out my billing application found the address without any probs. And for this flimsy reason they cut my outgoing calls without even checking with me.
I would like to advice whoever is going in for BPL mobile do so at your own risk. If you need the headaches…. The adrenalin…. If you suffer from low BP and want your BP to shoot up… then and then only subscribe to BPL mobile. I was happy using the MOTS as I didn’t have to interact with any customer service agents and even though the charges are higher …let me tell you the aggro is less.

Motherhood

Recently a friend of mine adopted a girl child. I was really proud and happy about it. Proud because she’s a single woman and still had the guts to adopt a child. Her parents too gained my respect for supporting her decision. She’s taken the right decision at the right time. She’s adopted a child when she is still able to enjoy one. That’s the important thing.
Then I got thinking about the woman who gave up her child for adoption. Look at the irony….. one lady shunned by society for giving birth to a child out of wed lock so to say and another lady, also single adopts the child. One lady is ashamed of her motherhood or totally hapless about it and gives up her child while the other exalts in it.
I just felt very sad for the lady who had to give up a child. For no fault of hers, just because her man was a coward, who couldn’t stand by her, she has to spend the rest of her life in disgrace (living away from her family in an ashram) and with an empty space in her heart for the child she gave up.
I have no doubts this child will really do well in life because my friend is an exceptional human being. She will bring her up well, and the child will never want for anything and will be able to spread her wings. I hope the birth mother would see her dreams fulfilled about the future of this child through my friend.

Friday word: Gold

Read in Sai's blog that friday word was Gold and thought I should try my hand at writing a blog about gold too. In India especially Gold is an extremely important commodity. From ancient times Gold has always been a favourite with women and they were supposed to enhance the beauty of the wearer. Artists let their ideas take wings when they carved and made intricately designed ornaments in Gold which is an extremely malleable metal. One always read in Indian mythology that the king would award Gold coins for a job well done.
Gold meant security. Thats the reason why the gold jewellery given to the bride is called stree-dhan. During hard times this same Gold can be sold to get cash.... it never devaluates.
Gold denotes all that is important in your life. You think of the colour gold when you hear someone saying "rays of hope"..... the light at the end of the tunnel is also golden. The good old days when life was good are referred to as the golden era. Theres a brightness attached to those days which you can never forget.
The most important gold in our life is the golden Sun which gives us and the whole earth and it's nature LIFE.

Fashion tales: In quest of a seamstress.

During my teenage years fashion meant buying clothes at Fashion street cos that was what I could afford within my pocket money. Or otherwise it meant trying to make the local darzi (tailor) understand the intricacies of western clothes from the Japanese fashion magazines that he would have. Finally I would land up with an iffy fusion of the western and the occidental.
Let me go back a bit….. as a kid my mom would take me to a Parsi lady who would make my dresses. Her patterns were so good and the clothes would be so comfy that I would hate to discard them. She’s the only seamstress I have seen to date who would be proud of her pattern inside and out. The inside of the dress would be as neatly done as the outside. Having done a bit of textiles and sewing during college years I am in a position to say that it’s not always that one finds such a seamstress. Many a times the dresses look gorgeous from the out but turn them inside out and the inside seams are a mess. That’s the reason why I always admired Hilla ben.
The 80’s and the 90’s were more the prêt-a-porter years for me. I wasn’t too happy with the ready-mades but I had still not found the ultimate seamstress. During those days there would be a variety of ready-made dresses but not much of a variety in the fabrics. So one didn’t really have a choice. Also fashion designers had not mushroomed at every “nukkad” (corner). My tailor at the time was someone who did tailoring as part time business and thought that drinking was his full time one. So not only did I have to go to his shop when he wasn’t really too high, then get him to understand the pattern and then pray for the best. If he kept himself sober during the time that my dress was being cut, it would come out well otherwise…. I have found that the embroidered parrots on my dress that I thought I would see on the front hem were viewing the world from behind me. After this I seriously started to look out for another tailor. The next one had triangles on his brain. You give him any material. The final kameez would have a triangular tent look to it. In the suburbs we really didn’t have much choice where tailors were concerned. Also I kept thinking that I was too hard to please. Having learnt sewing I was very particular and finicky.
Finally I thought I should up the stakes and look out for a designer. Even if I did pay through my nose I would be able to enjoy my clothes. I found this girl. She charged more than double the going rate. I was new to this fashion thing and thought she was a bit OTT. So I would tell her to tone down a bit when she would pattern my dress. She would take it as a personal affront that I was clipping her designer ideas. Once we got used to each other, I could comfortably let her design for me. Now that we have come to an agreement about what I feel suits me I let her have a free hand.
I realized the difference that clothes make when a friend of mine asked me “hey what diet do you follow… you have started looking trim?” (remember the triangle tailor) I said no diet…. Changed my designer. She thought I was being funny and said hey whatever it takes to keep us looking young huh! It was only then that I actually thought about the phrase : “clothes maketh the man” and the difference they make to a person’s personality and feel good factor.

Auto-rickshaws of Mumbai.

I got this email today about the gen-next auto-rickshaws which will ply in India. These auto-rickshaws or autos are a menace and a necessity all the same time. In Mumbai , they are like mosquitoes swarming in the burbs… still I guess I could say there is a method to the madness (lets leave Pune autos out of this …. It’s complete madness). Let me give an example of method….. if you see an auto signaling to go right…. Do not ever overtake from the left cos he can at the very last min. change his mind and take a left turn. The method is for the people following behind the auto. The autos are gravity defying bodies being driven as if they are being tested for speed and requires the passenger to be of an adventurous spirit.
I dread traveling in an auto after meeting with a couple of accidents while being inside. The people who really enjoy auto rides are tourists. Mumbaiites have a very bored expression and a long suffering one while inside an auto. I once had a French friend of mine visiting and she was very excited about the auto ride (she would call an auto a “pousse pousse” motor… I think the Thai autos are called “Pousse pousse”.) due which the auto driver got excited and wanted to show off his driving prowess. We were taken from point A to point B at a break neck speed. It was like being in an obstacle race the only difference being that this man was hell bent on making our posteriors aware of all pot holes (obstacles) existing on that stretch. Not only did he take care to jostle and make us feel each and every bone in our body but also since the horn was like an extension of his thumb our ears were ringing at the end of the ride. The French girl had a glazed expression when we got down. She had probably experienced something far more adrenalin generating than the most dangerous rides in the amusement parks. She had probably communed with God during the ride!
If you look at the gennext auto pic closely you would find that it has been fitted with a bar to “restrain” the passengers just like in the roller coasters. Is it I wonder a license to the driver that now it would be legal to drive autos like roller coasters.
From all the autos that ply one can make out if they are self owned or rented out. The self owned one are nicely done up from the inside. You might find stickers of Hindu Gods stuck all over (well you need them to get you through the ride)…..there might even be a small statuette of a particular God which is garlanded. While a rented auto is in tatters. The seats are torn. The auto has a rusted look, paint has peeled off and the driver drives as a bat out of hell scarcely caring for the safety of the auto.
To top everything the autos are now fitted with music systems. From outside you can only hear a loud sound that sounds like “dhin-chak, dhin-chak”….. it can be any song playing the words are not important the dhinchak is (which I came to know much later is called jhankar beat). If you are looking out to flag down an auto, can’t see any and hear a loud dhinchak, be assured that an auto is at hand and you would see it soon enough.
The auto’s fortunes are on an upward swing. Earlier on only the middle class would use them now Mr.Bharat Dabholkar ( a theatre personality) has made a customized one for himself. It seems Salman Khan and Govinda (Bollywood personalities) get a yearning to take auto rides and do so in the dark hours. So suddenly the autos find themselves in the limelight. I read somewhere that the autos will be exported to the UK where they would be used as beach buggies.... an added attraction for the tourists.
Inspite of the menace the auto has become a symbol of Mumbai. Whenever I visit friends from foreign shores I always take with me a model of the auto and these are always welcomed and given pride of place on the mantle or in the show cases. The only lament being that they have not experienced the autorickshaw ride!!!

The good for you green veggies- Spinach.

In my quest for oil free recipes, (cos the guilt trip one takes after eating oil laden food is just not worth it.) I try to get diff recipes and try them with as less oil as possible. I have found that a palak paneer cooked in a teaspoon and a half of oil tastes just as good as the oil laden one and also that one can actually eat more and not feel full. The fine tuned version of my very own Palak Paneer.
Palak Paneer
Ingds:
2 bunches of Spinach (leaves to be blanched and liquidized into a paste)
6-8 cloves garlic/ 1” ginger/2 green chillies (ground together)
2 onions (medium) chopped finely
250gms Paneer cut into cubes
a pinch of turmeric (optional..it’s ok not to add it… but don’t add too much as the spinach turns an unsavoury dark green)
red chilli powder … this depends on your taste
Dhania jeera powder 1 tsp
Garam masala powder ½ tsp
Salt to taste
Sugar 1 tsp
For the tempering: 1 dry red chilli, 1 badi elaichi, 2 cloves, 4 pepper corns, 1 small piece of cinnamon.
Method: Blanch and liquidize the spinach. Make ginger garlic green chilli paste… if you are in a hurry just liquidize ginger/garlic/green chilli and spinach together into a smooth paste.
Heat a little water in a pan (as if you are taking water instead of oil) then add the chopped onions into the water…. Keep a lid on this and cook the onions till done. Then add the green paste, mix well for a couple of minutes, then add the turmeric, red chilli powder, dhania jeera powder. Mix well and then add the spinach paste. Add the salt and sugar and bring it to a boil. Then add the paneer cubes (no frying required) and the garam masala powder and bring to a boil again.
In another pan heat 1 ½ tsp oil, add all the spices given for tempering. Roast them well… this is a must otherwise one gets the metallic taste of spinach. Add this tempering to the palak paneer. Your palak paneer is ready to be served.

Palak paneer reminds me of another tasty spinach dish…. The palak raita (spinach salad.. though it’s more a dip).
Palak raita:
Blanch and liquidize spinach leaves. Add a green chilli while liquidizing. To this add roasted jeera powder, salt, sugar and thick curd. Beat well. Tastes good with fritters and kababs.

Bon appetit!

Dor and Manini.

I quite like watching movies, though in recent times haven't been able to catch up due work pressure. Sometime back I saw this marathi movie "Manini", not the old black and white one. This is a new movie, shot in Dubai (well thank God that wasn't the USP of the movie). It has a feminist content. Actually I shouldn't say feminist in so much as hard core feminism but more about bigotry. There's the man (the Hero) who's working in Dubai and is having an affair with his colleague who is a divorcee with a child. Due to parental pressure he marries a girl from Ratnagiri and takes her to Dubai where he mistreats her. She meets a man who helps her out when she's lost in Dubai and he goes on to become a friend. The hubby starts suspecting her friendship. Thats when she leaves him and returns home to Ratnagiri. When the hubby follows her there and apologises to her she doesn't go back with him. She tells him that she would prefer to lead a life on her own terms... not as a dependant on him or her friend. It was a nice film though unfortunately the director got caught in the item number rat-race. So we have an item number with lot of pelvic movements to the beats of "padala pikla amba" (remixed). Frankly this song doesn't gel with the goings on.
Then I saw Dor... I loved the film. A film about a girl from North India who suddenly finds that her husband is an accused in murder in Saudi Arabia and how unless she gets the signature of the widow of the deceased on the document pardoning the accused he would be hanged. So she sets out in search of this girl. She's alone and is helped along by a bahurupiya. She befriends the widow and understands her plight of losing her loved one.Here too bigotry is shown... where the widowed daughter-in-law is supposed to stay in the house at all times and should wear a drab garb.... and though being young should not enjoy life. When it comes to saving the ancestral house the father-in-law is not against prostituting his daughter-in-law. Finally Zeenat (Gul Panag) gives the young widow the strength to break free from the shackles and make a life of her own.Gul Panag and Ayesha Takia have given good performances. Shreyas Talpade is also a good actor who can do justice to any role given to him. Even though he's not the main protagonist in this film.... one leaves the theatre taking with them memories of this lovable "bahurupiya". The film could have done without any songs as frankly the storyline doesn't demand any. Kesaria balama being the only one I could remember for it's earthy charm. Rest are forgettable.
Both the films had a good story line. Unfortunately the Marathi film lags behind as it doesn't enjoy a vast audience as a Hindi movie.

Going the cartoon way.

Since the Asian games way back in the 80's and the colour TV revolution in India, TV has progressed by leaps and bounds(?). Suddenly you have more than a 100 channels at your finger tips and one normally sees a child glued to the TV switching between the Cartoon network, Disney channel, Jetix, Pogo etc. Earlier on the serials and programmes would be in English but then the companies must have thought that they would reach more impressionable audience if they were to dub their programmes in Hindi.... that being the national language. Well a very good marketing idea I say.... but what i can't understand is why are the characters made to speak Hindi like caricatures.... as a foreigner would speak Hindi. I have heard many kids speaking in that sing-song manner..... like Tom Alter playing a britisher from the Raj and talking to Mr Bharat (Manoj Kumar). Even the hindi programmes which are made in India also have the comperes speaking in a sing-song manner instead of educating the audience in chaste hindi.
TV has always been a very strong medium and it could have definitely been used to improve the Hindi of it's young audience. For the foreign programmes they could use sub titles instead of accented Hindi. Every language in the world has it's own distinctive body language. And accented hindi and OTT body language don't gel.
It becomes very difficult to correct a wrong pronounciation. Once it's set in your brain to wipe it out is an abs uphill task.
It saddens me when I see the kids speaking in this manner. Cos I do believe that the "maryada" of Hindi (or any other Indian language) is totally different from the "maryada" of any other foreign language. All languages have their own distinct flavours which should never be compromised upon.

False promises.

Hey folks… am back at my computer… and theres steam coming out my ears… after having a meaningful conversation with the Citibank (CB)customer service representative. About a month and a half back CB came out with a deal that if you shop for a certain sum at the Shoppers stop then you get 5% cash back. This was the first time I actually participated in such a scheme. So I wasn’t too sure how it worked. When I paid the bill I was not given any cash back so I asked about it and found that I would have to call CB and tell them about it. So I called them…. First couple of times the telephone conversation was mysteriously cut ( I say mysteriously cos just when I got to the part where I find out how I get my cash back the phone disconnected). After a few days I felt a bit lucky so thought I should call them up again. When I did again I was directed to some one else…. And by the end of the call I still wasn’t enlightened. So I call again… I should get an award for being patient….. again this girl tells me that she’ll put my query to the proper dept. So finally I asked her if she would be kind enough to call me back when it was sorted out. She told me they cannot call back… that I should call back. This was when I lost it and generally told her that I had already made 5-6 calls…. Well I wasn’t counting… she had the gall to tell me that it was my 4th call…. I stand corrected.. I told her for me that’s 3 calls too many!
This evening I called them again as last time I had actually been given a request no. I gave my number and the answer was that “if the deal was on at the time I would get the cash back.” I mean come on. It’s a promotion by CB and if they are not aware that the promotion was on who would be! I think this requires divine intervention. Cos CB is blissfully unaware of their own promotions and they train their personnel to show others their ignorance… Amazing. This time the girl was going on about how “certainly” she would check with the other dept. to be specific about the reply… how “certainly” she would do it… but in the first place they are not “certain” about this at all…. So what is the meaning of the word “certainly” in their dictionary. Finally I told her that the amount I was spending on the phone calls would be equivalent to the 5% cash back. I think that must be the deal…. Come to think of it…. They must have a deal with MTNL ( the telephone company)…. We’ll come up with this deal and you can earn money cos these poor fools would keep calling CB to get their 5% back and would spend lots more.
So you people out there… be very careful about these deals! When it comes to them marketing their loans and draft I am supposedly an esteemed customer. They make me feel that I am a VIP for them. But when it comes to the crunch…. They don’t come through with flying colours. So much for customer service.