It’s Shivaji jayanti today. That’s the birth anniversary of Shivaji maharaj. I have every respect for him and would love to read the stories about his fight against the moghuls as a child. This blog is not about Shivaji maharaj but about the fact that these historical dates were the bane of my life during childhood. I would love to read historical/mythological stories but was never able to remember the important dates. History exam would get me into a sweat… even mugging couldn’t help me. I could get the century right (well whats a 100 here or there!! ) but the exact date… well that was an entirely different story.
Here I couldn’t remember one birth date and these people would have 2. I mean why wasn’t a consensus taken so that each person whether living or dead could have just one birthday. Shivaji has 2 birth dates… oh well the Queen of England too celebrates 2 b’days…. I really don’t mind them celebrating any amount of days they want to….but why did I need to learn each and every one.
The only school year that I really enjoyed history was in the 8th standard and that too because we had history of architecture which I used to love and no exact dates… well this was my cup of tea… cos I would def get the centuries right.
That’s the reason why I cannot accept the way history is taught in our schools even now. When I see the text books now… it is full of details which have absolutely no connection to our day to day lives. Why should I know how many children the Deshmukh’s during Shivaji’s period had or what their names were? Why cannot this be taught to the children as a story and the questions asked accordingly. When I am hard pressed to get the details beyond my great grandfather from the municipality why would I want to remember the names of the children of Shivaji’s mavalas. Can someone explain this to me? The question papers have these questions and not about the actual cause that Shivaji fought for. Not every one has the chronology cell in their brains and this makes taking these exams a major aggro.
I myself lack this cell and sympathise with all the kids in this similar position. Each person has a like and dislike for certain subjects. It’s interesting to note that I would love maths but could not get these b’dates right.
This blog came up as I happened to look at the calendar and the date was in red so went to check what the event was and I remembered that a few days ago I had seen the BMC people cleaning Shivaji maharaj’s statue to get it ready for his jayanti. Ask me next year and I will still not be able to tell you the date…. I love watching the history channel…. The world events…etc…. can some one help me here… how I could start remembering the dates…. PPPPLLLLLEEEEAAAASSSEEE!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Saturday, February 17, 2007
The money pot's awaiting you! Here comes the rainbow.
Money…money… money! That’s what makes the world go around. For a few months now I have been reading these ads in the newspapers how one can earn thousands sitting at home… part time/full time etc. Without fail there would be these small classifieds. I was intrigued. Oh well I thought with glee… may be I could get a nice income sitting at home. So today (since I was feeling especially lucky…. My feeling lucky and being lucky has abs no connection) I called this girl up. She told me how LUCKY (see even she thought it was my lucky day) I was, that they had an orientation programme just this afternoon and I should attend it. She just wouldn’t divulge any details about the product etc. She told me that the entrance fee was just Rs.30. As that was very reasonable I decided to attend the programme. One should note how carefully they guard the identity of their product till they have herded the unsuspecting people inside the conference room. So I paid the enrolment fee and got myself enrolled. Then went in to attend the programme. I never thought I would see live what I normally get to see on the telebrands shopping channels… where they speak about how extremely good a product it is and that there has never been and will never be another.
So this speaker comes up and tells us how he made it big. He came from a lower income group and used to live in a “chawl” and never thought he would buy an apartment of his own and then this company happened and today he had an apartment of his own, has traveled to foreign shores..etc..etc and etc.
Then there was a huge line of people who had used the products and how it had helped them lead a healthy life…. Then again the same people telling us how after a healthy life the same company has made them wealthy…. (don’t know about the wise as yet ).
As an outsider what I found most interesting were the speakers. Talk about marketing. It was a lesson. Bring on the middle class… people who don’t speak English well… they speak to you in hindi and this gets the lower/middle class/housewives. Throw in a CA so that the educated ones are hooked. When the middle class people hear about an all expenses paid trip to say Goa, it will definitely excite them . For some it’s a dream to even get away from Mumbai. Away from their humdrum lives…. Away from the crush of bodies that try to fit into a 10x10…. Just to be away from people.
It’s quite remarkable that these companies use just one basic of psychology to grab people. That’s body language. They point to the fact that the people who are sitting in that room with their arms crossed are close minded people and they will remain where they are because they will not open their minds to new avenues of making money and getting ahead. Suddenly you find people sitting up cos no one wants to be “narrow minded”. There you are…. Half battle won! Then the guest speaker came on. He was a great orator. He could have sold ice to an Eskimo and I am not even exaggerating. Now our minds were opened…. And we were told how abs lucky we were that there was a success training programme coming up the very next day. I mean when I felt lucky I never thought I would be THAT LUCKY!!! Once you enrolled with their company after paying about 4000 bucks you get to go to the programme in a 4 star hotel abs free (Read the last line in an excited kind of orgasmic voice… the way they say in the TV show)
The speaker said that we earn what we dream of. Our value remains at that level. So if we dream of living a clerks life we will remain that. To get out of that thought process we had to start dreaming big. This line I considered to be worth the Rs.30 I paid as the entrance. Yes what he said was abs right. You have to define your own value and work towards reaching that goal.
No I didn’t enroll for the seminar. Maybe for them I am a close minded person…. But I don’t believe in selling herbal/medicated products to anybody. I don’t have faith in miracle products which helps you reduce/gain weight within a few days when you don’t know about the long term effects. All the agents from the company were seen sipping these products ( makes one wonder if you can get addicted).
Untangling myself from dreams of mansions and dream cars, I got away from there…. My “narrow mind” and middle class values intact. Figured that I am not an adventurous person at all nor “open minded”. Guess entrepreneurs are made of diff stuff!
So this speaker comes up and tells us how he made it big. He came from a lower income group and used to live in a “chawl” and never thought he would buy an apartment of his own and then this company happened and today he had an apartment of his own, has traveled to foreign shores..etc..etc and etc.
Then there was a huge line of people who had used the products and how it had helped them lead a healthy life…. Then again the same people telling us how after a healthy life the same company has made them wealthy…. (don’t know about the wise as yet ).
As an outsider what I found most interesting were the speakers. Talk about marketing. It was a lesson. Bring on the middle class… people who don’t speak English well… they speak to you in hindi and this gets the lower/middle class/housewives. Throw in a CA so that the educated ones are hooked. When the middle class people hear about an all expenses paid trip to say Goa, it will definitely excite them . For some it’s a dream to even get away from Mumbai. Away from their humdrum lives…. Away from the crush of bodies that try to fit into a 10x10…. Just to be away from people.
It’s quite remarkable that these companies use just one basic of psychology to grab people. That’s body language. They point to the fact that the people who are sitting in that room with their arms crossed are close minded people and they will remain where they are because they will not open their minds to new avenues of making money and getting ahead. Suddenly you find people sitting up cos no one wants to be “narrow minded”. There you are…. Half battle won! Then the guest speaker came on. He was a great orator. He could have sold ice to an Eskimo and I am not even exaggerating. Now our minds were opened…. And we were told how abs lucky we were that there was a success training programme coming up the very next day. I mean when I felt lucky I never thought I would be THAT LUCKY!!! Once you enrolled with their company after paying about 4000 bucks you get to go to the programme in a 4 star hotel abs free (Read the last line in an excited kind of orgasmic voice… the way they say in the TV show)
The speaker said that we earn what we dream of. Our value remains at that level. So if we dream of living a clerks life we will remain that. To get out of that thought process we had to start dreaming big. This line I considered to be worth the Rs.30 I paid as the entrance. Yes what he said was abs right. You have to define your own value and work towards reaching that goal.
No I didn’t enroll for the seminar. Maybe for them I am a close minded person…. But I don’t believe in selling herbal/medicated products to anybody. I don’t have faith in miracle products which helps you reduce/gain weight within a few days when you don’t know about the long term effects. All the agents from the company were seen sipping these products ( makes one wonder if you can get addicted).
Untangling myself from dreams of mansions and dream cars, I got away from there…. My “narrow mind” and middle class values intact. Figured that I am not an adventurous person at all nor “open minded”. Guess entrepreneurs are made of diff stuff!
Saturday, February 3, 2007
metamorphosis of the "ghaten"
A few months ago I was invited for a wedding. It was a maharashtrian wedding. Now, middle class maharashtrians were never known for their fashion savvy. They have been always categorized as “ghatis”. No offence to anyone as I myself am a maharashtrian. So when I went to the reception I went with the normal concept of a maharashtrian wedding. That the ladies would be wearing at the most “paithanis” or the “shalus” from their own weddings. Was I in for a shock! When I got there, I thought I had gate crashed a balaji telefilms set. The ladies were in “kundan”(crystal) work chiffons. Draped in the latest of styles, with matching accessories. The metamorphosis of the ghati woman into a fashion “plate” has completely passed me by. I never realized that these days there are package deals for everything. The groom package with all the clothes required for the different rituals, the bride package. Glad to know that the marathi girls didn’t get left behind in this fashion race.
There were a couple of girls,whom most of the men were ogling. One was wearing a black saree (black till recently was a complete no no at our weddings) which had golden sequins and she had draped her saree in a gujrati style, but the pallu was left lose and she was wearing a very miniscule golden sequined bustier. That was when I realized that I have been relegated to the gen-prev (previous generation as against gen-next)…. Cos all I could think of was wardrobe malfunction. This girl was smart and could really carry off her outfit. But well…. In my mind all I could think of was wardrobe malfunction…a janet jackson moment… till recently I read an article that wardrobe malfunctions are also staged to get maximum effect and footage.
The second girl was wearing a lehenga choli. It was a bright orange outfit with a nice deep cleavage showing round neck with a tattoo proudly peeping over the neck line. She also had glitter stuck mehendi (Henna tattoos) on her hands.
I was proud to note that the ghatis have atlast arrived on the fashion scene. BRAVO!
There were a couple of girls,whom most of the men were ogling. One was wearing a black saree (black till recently was a complete no no at our weddings) which had golden sequins and she had draped her saree in a gujrati style, but the pallu was left lose and she was wearing a very miniscule golden sequined bustier. That was when I realized that I have been relegated to the gen-prev (previous generation as against gen-next)…. Cos all I could think of was wardrobe malfunction. This girl was smart and could really carry off her outfit. But well…. In my mind all I could think of was wardrobe malfunction…a janet jackson moment… till recently I read an article that wardrobe malfunctions are also staged to get maximum effect and footage.
The second girl was wearing a lehenga choli. It was a bright orange outfit with a nice deep cleavage showing round neck with a tattoo proudly peeping over the neck line. She also had glitter stuck mehendi (Henna tattoos) on her hands.
I was proud to note that the ghatis have atlast arrived on the fashion scene. BRAVO!
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Dial "D" for Doctor.
Thinking about a visit to the doctor makes me break into a rash. My BP goes haywire as probably does the sugar and cholesterol. So am an abs sitting duck for the local GP. I have to mentally prepare myself before. Thats the time when I remember the names of probably a crore (from the 33 crore) Hindu Gods. I send up a prayer to each one and barter with/argue with /threaten each one. Just to save myself a visit to the doctor.
Just the other day I had to make a trip to the doctor…. Before leaving the house I did all the relaxation/deep breathing exercises taught to me. No change. I landed up at the clinic. There were a few patients before me. There was this adolescent girl in particular who grabbed my attention. She was actually trying her skills of flirtation on the doc. I had this flash (like they do in the cartoons)… that I am a walking cadaver and this girl is making eyes at the doc. How come she isn’t scared of him….. when I was having the shivers. My antenna went up. After getting the giggly bit out of the way….. she asks the doc…. Did you get my good morning message (followed by another burst of giggles) Doc confused…. When did you send it……. Ms giggles…. Oh I sent it to you this morning….. as soon as I woke up…. I sent you a “Good morning Doctor” sms (proudly pointing to the latest model of a cellphone)….. doc told her very calmly…. How would I know who sent me the message….. the poor girl was abs shocked that doc wouldn’t have her cell no. stored in his (or his cell’s ) memory. Me thinks that the latest cell model became obsolete for her then… cos it didn’t do the most important thing of supplying the doc with the most vital info. I could see her good morning go down the drain like so much slush. BUT this is gen next… so she rallied at the speed of light and told Doc….. save the sms so that you know who sends you a message the next time. Talk about being forward…. This was fast forward!
This entertainment (free of charge…. Otherwise nothings free at the doc) brought a smile to my lips and helped calm me. Don’t know about Ms. Giggle’s morning but mine was made. Went through the visit in a jif (which normally seems like years).
I hope Ms. Giggles (or some one of her ilk…. That’s the beauty of being dark haired….. you cannot be categorized as being blondes!!) is present whenever I have a doc’s visit. I will be eternally grateful to her.
Just the other day I had to make a trip to the doctor…. Before leaving the house I did all the relaxation/deep breathing exercises taught to me. No change. I landed up at the clinic. There were a few patients before me. There was this adolescent girl in particular who grabbed my attention. She was actually trying her skills of flirtation on the doc. I had this flash (like they do in the cartoons)… that I am a walking cadaver and this girl is making eyes at the doc. How come she isn’t scared of him….. when I was having the shivers. My antenna went up. After getting the giggly bit out of the way….. she asks the doc…. Did you get my good morning message (followed by another burst of giggles) Doc confused…. When did you send it……. Ms giggles…. Oh I sent it to you this morning….. as soon as I woke up…. I sent you a “Good morning Doctor” sms (proudly pointing to the latest model of a cellphone)….. doc told her very calmly…. How would I know who sent me the message….. the poor girl was abs shocked that doc wouldn’t have her cell no. stored in his (or his cell’s ) memory. Me thinks that the latest cell model became obsolete for her then… cos it didn’t do the most important thing of supplying the doc with the most vital info. I could see her good morning go down the drain like so much slush. BUT this is gen next… so she rallied at the speed of light and told Doc….. save the sms so that you know who sends you a message the next time. Talk about being forward…. This was fast forward!
This entertainment (free of charge…. Otherwise nothings free at the doc) brought a smile to my lips and helped calm me. Don’t know about Ms. Giggle’s morning but mine was made. Went through the visit in a jif (which normally seems like years).
I hope Ms. Giggles (or some one of her ilk…. That’s the beauty of being dark haired….. you cannot be categorized as being blondes!!) is present whenever I have a doc’s visit. I will be eternally grateful to her.
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